About Victoria Mujahid

Houston’s premier creative writer, Victoria Mujahid, has a passion for uplifting, encouraging, and loving the world, and one of the ways is through her writing.

Live in Confidence

September 24, 2012, I wrote in my journal:  “The confidence I thought I lacked was only my ego saying, ‘No.’ Saying no to confidence ensured me that I will not go beyond my comfort zone.” 
As I think about so many of the friends and family members in my life, I wonder how can I truly show how much I love them–how much gratitude fills every inch of my body when I think of them.  Recently during prayer, I tapped into the Oneness–the communion with such a powerful and intertwining rope of love that all I wanted to do is share it with the world.  I then decided to see the light. This light filled my body, then the room, and then my house.  You see, this light was and is always shining; I just tapped into it by feeling the beauty that I AM.  So, I thought, “If I can see the light where I AM and can see it as far as my heart, mind, and soul will take me, which is infinitely available, then I know I can see it in and around my friends and family.”  I shared this light with every person and everything that came to my mind.  Then I realized, I am showing love–the love of Divine Presence–with all of my friends, associates, and family members without saying anything.
Isn’t that remarkable?  We have the ability to just think and feel grace for ourselves and others, knowing that same grace is so ever present, forever.
Confidence is letting your light shine, and if you don’t know how to do this, think about the things that would make you feel at peace, in love, and with joy, then see those same things for others.  This light, the same light you reflect, is returning to you.  That’s the power of the Universe.  Don’t be afraid to walk in confidence because it is how you and I have the ability, the courage, and the strength to walk in grace, in love, and in humility.  These are the attributes of God that’s always here, always moving, always presenting opportunities for us to deny self–the ego–in order to embrace the truth.  The truth is life is always GOOD, and you are life!  So, live in confidence.


My Last Cry

My last time crying was when I drove my car onto the driveway of my hair stylist’s home. I could feel the tears swelling in my throat. I held back the tears—I
thought—until I knocked on her door. The tears came so fast, I could hardly
speak. So, when she opened the door, I put up my index finger, letting her know
to give me a few minutes. Of course, she asked me if I was all right. I nodded,
and she closed the door. Trying to stop crying was very hard to do, so I gave
myself five seconds to let it all go, to just let the tears fall. Afterwards, I was able to control the tears
better. I knocked on her door again, and this time, I smiled and laughed as a
few more tears found their way down my cheeks. I sat in her chair, and we began
to talk like we always do. Our conversations are both healing and revealing to
us both.  During that visit, we talked
and had a laughing moment where there was no space or time; it was just
laughter. An hour later, I felt healed; I felt happy; I felt rejuvenated. It
wasn’t from the cry, but it was from the laughter!

Lighted Stepping Stones

 
 
 
It’s one of those things that
sometimes mentally drain me; I’m finding out that there are many jobs that I
think I can do just to make ends meet, but my lessons are teaching me that if
my stepping stone doesn’t go with my ultimate journey—the journey that involves
the plan that I feel and see in my dreams or visions—it will feel like a
daunting task, a dark task.  A lesson
always comes out of missing one of these stepping stones: I should stay true to
my vision, my heart, and my soul.

How do I stay true to my vision? I practice seeing my
vision every minute of each day, and I allow myself to feel the enthusiasm that
comes with seeing my vision, regardless of how “bad” things may appear.  Staying in
this awareness helps me to feel if my next move is one of a lighted stepping
stone or one of a move that is driven by limited thinking caused by fear.  Before I accept a job, I know if the path is
a lighted stepping stone or not, because I can immediately feel it.  My knowing comes from the desire to
practice living in the ONENESS with Divine Presence.
So, from this point
forward, I listen to Spirit’s Guidance and move in the direction of light, which
I am carrying to brighten the path on my journey.  You see, when my light dims, it is a sign that
I have gone off path.  When my light dims, I am no longer in tuned to the always present Guidance, but in tuned to fear.  I AM guidance.  I AM one with the light of Divine Presence, which is always lighting the stepping stone, my path and my journey.  As the great teacher, Dr. Michael Bernard
Beckwith, often says, “I am the power I am looking for.” I take only the lighted stepping stones, which are brightened by me, the I AM.

She teaches me…

Today, a quote came across my heart:  “Let’s try teaching children how to think instead of what to think.” 

This is my Jannah.  She is strong, loving, sincere, forgiving, and respects and appreciates life.  Jannah teaches me so much about letting go, listening, and living in the moment.  She began saying, “I love you with my BIG heart,” when she was three-years-old.  I’ve learned and continue to learn from her how to love unconditionally.

Early on Wednesday, we ran a couple of errands.  Even though I think I’m present, I’m not.  I heard Jannah singing along to a song on the radio; she is always singing, so, this is nothing new.  I turned off the car just when the song ended.  Casually, I said, “I don’t like that song.”  Imagine that?  I wasn’t available to listen to it, but I told her that I didn’t like the song.  It was final; nothing else needed to be said, according to my thoughts.

I began walking into the building. Jannah stopped walking, looked up at me with her eyes squinted from the brightness of the sunrays, and said, “Mom, the lyrics to the song are: Let me love you.  I will love you until you learn to love yourself.”  I said, “Oh.”  Enough said.

Just because the beat of the song didn’t catch my attention, I had a diluted perception of the song.  I said the words out loud then Jannah interrupted me, and said, “Nemo sings it.”  I said, “Nemo? Oh, you mean, Ne-Yo.”  She said, “Yeah, you know who I’m talking about.” 

I, unintentionally, tried to convince Jannah to not like that song when I wasn’t even present to hear it.  She gave me the opportunity to listen through her, and I did.  I’m giving her the space to be her–teaching her how to think, and I love who she is. 

Release and Let Go…

When I get a surge of enthusiasm and gratitude, I must share it with you; it
is what I do!

Release and let go of shame. It serves no purpose.

Release and let go of fear. It keeps you in distress, and it makes you doubt
what you know to be true.

Release and let go of the hurt. It keeps you in a victim mode. You are not a
victim; you are a vibrant, beautiful, confident Divine Expression of
Greatness-God!

Release and let go lack of self-worthiness. It makes you compare
yourself to everyone else; there is no one like you. You are uniquely and ecstatically worth more than you can comprehend.

Release and let go of wishing; you know everything there is to know because
you are a genius. See yourself as an inspiration here to do something phenomenal,
because you are.

Release and let go of suffering. It is not part of the life’s script for you to suffer. Your mind creates these conditions as a survival
mechanism.

See love in everything and every person and know that your life and his or
her life are for a reason. For yourself, ask what that reason is and listen
within for the answer. You will be delighted to know that there is so much more in you
and life than focusing on things originally created by your negative thinking and by other people.

You are the creative change you are looking for, and you are the genius to
get it done. You belong to something greater than yourself — a continuously
high-vibration beating of life. Embrace it by releasing and letting go of all
negative thought patterns and live in and for the moment without any interference. 

You are living your life to be you, come what may!

Me and Hummingbird – Our Bliss!

The last thought I had before I went to sleep was my plan to greet sunrise the
following morning. My alarm clock filled my bedroom with music, and I jumped
out of bed as if it were my last time seeing sunrise.  While sitting on my porch, I read a few pages
of Marianne Williamson’s, “A Return to Love.”

Sometimes, before I meditate, I read, and it helps me to rid my mind of all
the mind chatter.  I know exactly when
it’s time to stop reading because the energy I feel almost lifts me out of my
chair or off the floor.  The amazing
connection I feel with everything is powerful!

With my reading light, I read some of the pages I had already highlighted
with my marker until I felt awake.  The
words jumped off of the page and began nourishing the seeds that had already
been planted in my heart.  I read:  “Something amazing happens when we surrender
and just love.  We melt into another
world, a realm of power already within us. 
The world loves us when we choose to love the world.”  Ding! 
Ding!  This understanding elevated
me, and it was time to stop reading and meditate.

In that place of sheer joy and unlimited space within all of us, I heard the
sound of a bee; the sound became louder and louder.  I sat still and decided that I would remain
in that space where my body felt as light as a feather.  I wasn’t afraid of being stung or anything;
somehow, I knew I wouldn’t. Also, the communion with peace was far greater to
me than possibly being stung by a bee. 

Then, sunrise kissed my eyelids.  The
hues of orange and red filled my eyes, but there was something in front of me shading
a part of the sunrise.  Automatically, I
opened my eyes, and there she was, a hummingbird fanning her wings at me.  Her beak was almost touching my nose.  I wished that I could have remained in that
space to keep her close.  She remained a
few seconds in front of me, but as soon as I began evaluating what was
happening, she disappeared into the sunrise that, now, began to blind me.
 
The feeling of gratitude filled every inch of my body.  I smiled and smiled, and guess what, she
returned.  She fanned her wings up higher
this time, hovering over me.  In our
stillness, I said to her, “Thank you for visiting me.  We are One!” 
I said in a singing voice, “I love you.” 
A few seconds passed, and she darted off, again.  I knew it would be my last time seeing her,
at least for that day.
 
Marianne Williamson says, “Love is a win-mode, a successful and attractive
vibration.”  Hummingbird and I were
attracted to each other on this day—in, through, and by love!

Thank you for visiting!

Really, How Can I Help You?

(Photo by Se’lah Greenaway)
Their sweet voices, their beautiful words, and their message
of love resonated deep in my heart. kRi & hettie, the musical duo
sensation, gifted me with musical selections of poetry and song.  I’ve played their CD for two days after I
first purchased it; it soothed my soul.

Immediately after my first service at Unity Church North, I
introduced myself to kRi & hettie, and then I made my way to the lower
level of the church to purchase their CD. 
I had to have it, and my heart filled with gratitude because I actually
had the money to buy one!

I left the table after signing their guest registry, and a
woman stopped me to ask how much I paid for the CD.  I responded, “Ten dollars.” She showed me a
distorted facial expression.  I read it clearly;
she didn’t have the money to buy it.  As
I continued walking, I heard the sweet voice within say, “Buy it for her.”  But, I continued walking simply because of
fear and doubt.  What will she think when
I buy that CD for her?  She doesn’t know
me from a can of paint, I thought.

I returned to the main level of the church because I forgot
to turn in my guest card with all of my contact information on it.  I felt the Presence of Divine Source.  In response to feeling regret for not buying
that CD for the woman, I said, “God, I desire to do what I feel.  I will always act upon what I feel because I
know it is the guidance of Divine Source.”

Deep in thought and gratitude, I slowly walked down the steep hill to my
car in back of the church when I saw a familiar woman in a blue and white
flowery dress exiting from the lower-level door. She greeted me with a smile,
and I said, “Are you the one that asked me about the price of the CD?”  She laughed out loud and said, “Yes, I
am.”  I walked toward her, and said,
“Come on.  Let’s go get that CD.  I’m going to buy it for you.”  She said, “Are you kidding me?”  I said, “Nope.”  I put my left arm around her shoulders as she
held my right hand, and we walked back into the church.

Her name is Elizabeth. 
She began telling Kri of kRi & hettie that I decided to buy her the
CD.  She said, “She’s never seen me
before!”  Kri handed Elizabeth the CD;
she then told me to keep my money.  “It
is a gift to you both,” she said.  All
three of us stood amazed about the beauty of giving and the power of
love. 

Finally, I reached my car. 
I sat in it giving thanks for the opportunity to be of service.  I asked during meditation that morning, “How
can I be of service?” I had been guided to Unity North Church that day. I’ve
heard often that instead of trying to get something, focus on giving, and all
of your needs will be met.  I’m a
witness!

Really, how can I help you?

Blinded by Love

Like today, the sun’s heat reflected on all the people that
stretched out on the lounge chairs, stood in long lines at the water park, and
popped in and out of the water like dolphins in the ocean.  My sister, Landy, and I picked the perfect
day to take our children and niece to the water park.

One of the children’s favorite activities is the Lazy River,
which is water current that pushes you in one direction without any effort on
anyone’s part.  I listened to the
interruption of laughter as the children dived and splashed under water.  My daughter, who I feel is more comfortable
in water than walking, scurried along without any fear.  I, on the other hand, tried not to have fear;
let’s just say I felt better being close to her.  She acted as if I were a net holding her
back!

I saw a young man grab Landy’s arm as I watched her grab my daughter for me.  They continued
to move, of course, but Landy seemed to slow down some in the water.  I caught up with her, my nieces, my daughter,
and this man holding on to her arm.   I yelled, “I’m coming, hold on!”  As I approached, my sister said, “This is my
sister, Vickie.”  And Jannah, my daughter
said, “And I’m her kid.”  He said, “Hello.  I’m Trevor.” 



Trevor reached out to hug me in the water, but in his effort,
he missed my body totally and slightly pulled away from Landy’s arm, which he scurried
to get back.  I looked at my sister with
a “what’s-up-with-this” look, and she had this big Kool-Aid smile on her face. I
thought he had a crush on her.  I then noticed
he had a white-folded stick in the water, one that is used by blind people as a
guidance tool when they walk.  Well, it
explained why he totally missed hugging me. 
The water current had moved me so quickly from the spot where he first
heard my voice.  I touched his arm and shoulder
in my attempt to hug him in moving water. 
I said, “I think it’s cool that you are in here by yourself hanging out.” He said, “Your sister is taking me to the waterfall. I keep missing it
because I can’t see where to go.  I said,
“OK then.  Let’s go.”

As we moved along in the warm water heated by the sun, I
thought this young man could not have chosen a better person to get him to his destination.  Landy is such a nurturing, caring, and
beautiful Being.  She guided him in and out
of the waterfall area and back to the main part of the Lazy River.

Trevor glowed with gratitude!  Not only is he a brave young man, he is a
strong force of love waiting to share with whomever allows it.  It is evident that he is “blinded” by
love.  I don’t see his blindness as a
handicap; he reminded me on another level to look pass size, shape, race,
weight, attitude, smells, and uniqueness in every way.  This young man made sure he touched or hugged
everyone who had any affiliation with Landy. 
Trevor, nineteen-years-old, left me and my family speechless.  We just smiled at each other.

I
saw a bright-red patch across Trevor’s back, where the sun had made its mark on his
pale skin.  I wondered if the patch would
burn him later that day.  He held onto
the metal banister, once he released Landy’s arm to leave the water, and I moved along in the water, watching him until he disappeared into the bright sun.


Trevor had such a warm and beautiful presence; his gentleness was such a sweet force.  I could feel the love radiating from him.  You know, there is always so much talk about handicaps, race
relations, and social inequalities in our society.  For a moment on this day, I could only think
about how my family and I had been marked, blinded by love.

Coming Out

I first visited Unity North Church in Marietta, GA about a
few months ago for a funeral of a dear friend who I hadn’t seen in several years.  The tears in my eyes made everything seemed
blurry on that day.  Once my tears dried,
I looked at the beautiful cloths hanging from the ceiling over the stage, which
were symbols of all the recognized religions.

When I picked up one of the song booklets and flipped
through the pages, I recognized several songs by Rickie Byars Beckwith.  Excitement filled my body; it became a
matter of time before I returned for my first visit.  Keep in mind, I haven’t been in a church building for several years.

I walked in the doors ten minutes late after getting
somewhat lost.  Surprised that I had a
wide selection of where I could sit, I sat closer to the back of the sanctuary,
at first.  Normally, I would have sat
there careful not to stand out among the congregation.  No, I moved closer to the front.  Why not? 
I wanted to see and feel everything during my first visit of being with
like-minded, soul-like, beautiful people!

The light and spaciousness of the sanctuary helped me to
feel relaxed, and I looked around at the faces that had once walked in the doors of
Unity North for their first time.  Were
they, too, ready to come out and just be? 
Did they, too, ask how can they be of service?  I sat there feeling love and gratitude
because I knew the time had come for me to live out loud.

To my amazement, the message:  “Coming Out – Authen-City vs. False City,” by
Rev. Jeanie Ward, hit me like the sun hovering over Mother Earth.  She told her story of how she lived a life of
different faces making sure to use them when she needed to cover up that she
was gay, unhappy, and terrified of life. 
I could identify that same pain in Rev. Ward that had drove me to deep
depression.

 
After years of uncertainty, sickness, and dealing with
obesity, she came out.  She said, “I am
unique and so is everyone else.”  Rev.
Ward’s coming out was not only about her sexuality, it was about living up to
her true potentiality—her unique expression of God.  I sat in my chair, closed my eyes, breathed
deeply, and said, “Yes” – Yes, to living out loud – Yes, to living my true
potentiality. “Where do I start?” I asked. 
I heard Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith’s words, “Right where you are.”

Unity North Church seems to be somewhat reserved in terms of
movement and dance during service, unlike what I’m use to growing up in a Penecostal church
or what I’m used to seeing at Agape Spiritual Center.  So, as I listened, I said out loud, “Yes!”
during Rev. Ward’s message several times; my words echoed toward the cathedral ceiling, alone.  When the awesome duo, kRi & hettie, sang, I felt the need to
stand, sing, and sway with them. I love their music, their voices, and their message! The
words, “Everyday is an opportunity to forgive myself, re-invent myself, and fall in love with myself,” touched my heart.  I am the only one who stood in the entire sanctuary.  Normally, I would feel embarrassed, and I would
wonder what people thought or even asked after service, “Do you think it was OK
that I stood when no one else stood?” 
Not this day; I AM coming out!

The old will leave to make space for the new.  Thoughts and feelings of insecurity,
self-doubt, fear, and lack of worthiness had crippled my potentiality. I know I’m
evolving each day; like an onion, I continue to peel back layers of deep, negative
thought patterns.  I’m ready.  I accept. 
I’m available. I can do it.  I
will do it, and I give deep thanks.  Use me,
Lord.

How about you?  Are
you ready to come out about something, anything?  Come on and join me.  Peace and Blessings!